Transformation Part 3: Recognizing the Truth of Who You Really Are.

We’ve been discussing Transformation: The literal change from one form to another. In this case we are working on transformation in our lives, from the average day-to-day to a life we truly, deeply, love living. In September we talked about the real-life monsters that can creep up and stand in the way when we’re undergoing any change. October was all about the demolition phase of change, when we let go of and clean out the old ways of being to make room for a new way of being. This month we continue to deepen the conversation of Transformation as we look at how to increase our capacity.

We discuss gratitude a lot here and I talk a lot about it in my coaching practice and daily life. That’s because it’s the quickest way to raise our energetic vibration to become a match for that which we want to experience in life, and because gratitude and fear/anger cannot exist at the same time.

If you have practiced gratitude for a long period of time, you may have noticed that the changes that seemed to be so profound in the beginning, can taper off or even stop. This is because while gratitude is a great starting point, it’s a PART of a bigger process. If you jump into gratitude and ignore the rest of the process, you can stagnate.

Transformation involves creating space for MORE. When you’re dissatisfied with the old way of living life, it’s an indicator that you want to do, be, or have MORE. And so, to make space for MORE, you are being called to increase your capacity. You have the potential to have anything you want to have. It’s your birthright as a human living on planet earth. Every resource imaginable is potentially yours. You have the potential to move mountains, walk on water, become a billionaire captain of industry—but you may not have that capacity. Capacity is potential that has developed authentically in your experience. It’s equal to your level of consciousness.

Mary Morrissey, a transformational coach and my mentor, teaches a 5-step process that is based on the transformational teachings of Ernest Holmes (founder of The Science of Mind) and drawn from the Vedas. (The Vedas are a collection of hymns and other religious texts composed in India between about 1500 and 1000 BCE. It includes elements such as liturgical material as well as mythological accounts, poems, prayers, and formulas considered to be sacred by the Vedic religion.) During this 5-step process, you deepen your understanding of Gratitude and its role in transformation.

The 5 steps are:

  1. Recognize
  2. Unify
  3. Realize
  4. Give thanks
  5. Release

Over the coming months we’re going to break these steps down. So, let’s begin with #1.

Recognize: Recognize is a thinking step. You recognize mentally who you really are, that you are always connected to Source energy (God, the Universe, etc.).

If you were raised with a religious background, you may have had an upbringing that taught you that you are full of sin, separated from God by your sin, and it’s in your nature and thus nothing that you ever do will allow you to be whole or complete or ‘good enough’ for God. Yet, anyone who has ever held a newborn baby knows that we are all born into this world whole, complete, and perfect. With respect for all religious paths, I have found in my experience that the only thing that keeps me separate from source energy is any vibration that has a low frequency. Ironically, the vibrational frequency of guilt is a very low vibration. The more you feel guilty, the more separate from Source you will feel.

The Truth is, that there is no separation. There is a reason why you WANT the things and experiences that you want. As a being who is divinely connected with Source, all the things that you want for your life continue to flow to you for no other reason than: it’s who you are.

A client tells her story: “When my children were 3 and 1 we were in the car and I was listening to my oldest child who was singing sweetly to herself. I had one of those ‘mom’ moments when I realized that although she was a handful, she was the perfect creation. She was a 3-year-old and 3-year-olds were SUPPOSED to be curious and into everything. At 2, she was the perfect 2-year-old. At a year, she was the perfect 1-year-old. Although she had changed form, nothing had changed from that perfect newborn.” And then she thought, “If I can accept that she is perfect at 3 for her current level of development, then why is it so hard for me to accept that I am also perfect at 30-something?”

Consider the Truth of this simple story. At every age in life you are learning and growing. You would never hold a 3-year-old to the standard of a 5-year-old. You know that they need to learn and grow and develop and eventually they will be 5 and capable of doing the things that a 5-year-old does. However, as a being who has lived on the planet for 3 years, they are perfectly developed for who they are. At every age you too are a perfect creation, doing your very best at your current level of understanding and development. Source, just like a loving parent, knows and understands you and is proud of you at every turn. The only person who subjects you to judgement is yourself.

You were created in order for the Universe to expand through you. Your job is to literally create more. Your desires for things and experiences that feel good to you are a part of that creative process. If you consider human evolution on our planet, you see this evidence throughout history. In the past 50 years through technological advancements, we have completely transformed the way that humans live in a very short amount of time. These advancements in the world happened because someone wanted to create a better feeling life for themselves or others. Someone else wanted to feel good, and so all of humanity benefits!

If you’re like I used to be, you may feel like actually getting what you want from life makes you ‘selfish’ or ‘entitled’. You may feel that if you were to get everything that you want, someone else would lose out on something that they want. This idea comes from a lack mentality or the mindset that there is not enough to go around. Part of RECOGNIZE is recognizing that the Universe has an ever-growing abundance of resources. No matter how the demand grows, the supply will always more than keep up. So, when you recognize (think) that the Universe is constantly expanding, there is never any reason to feel guilty or spoiled for getting the things you really want. And when you recognize that the Universe constantly expands because you and I are causing it to expand through actually doing, being, and having the things that we want to do, be, and have; you realize that you are not only one with Source, you are Source- acting through you as You. In this way, there is literally no separation.

When you recognize that you come into this world as perfect, whole, and complete and that your job is expansion through creativity, you begin to see your Truth. The Truth is that no matter how dark your circumstances seem, your connection to Source energy is always bigger. The Truth of who you are says that you are not defined by your circumstances. Your Truth is that you are a mighty creative force.

Here are some simple suggestions to help you this month as you learn to recognize the Truth of who you really are:

  1. Practice seeing the goodness in every person. When you find yourself in judgment of another, practice giving them the benefit of the doubt. Consider what life must be like for them to have arrived at a place where their behavior seems appropriate to them. A little empathy can shed new light and the positive aspects of even the most annoying people will naturally surface.
  2. Change your routine. Go down the street the opposite way and notice what you see. Changing up your routine allows you to notice new details all around you. Sometimes we forget just how amazing the planet on which we live truly is! Appreciating the grandeur of all of creation reminds you of who you are and why you’re here.
  3. Get out of your mind. As soon as you notice ‘stinkin thinkin’, start naming objects that surround to break your negative thinking. “Carpet, sofa, chair, TV, light, afghan, phone” or whatever you see. This interrupts the train of thought and brings your energy to neutral.
  4. Stay in the present moment. If you MUST focus on more, think only of this 24-hour day. Notice what triggers you or what makes you happy. Write this in your journal.
  5. Let go of the story that keeps you stuck. Begin imagining a new better version of you! Without the story that tells you that you are less than or can’t, begin writing about all of the wonderful things that you ARE and that you CAN do. If you have to, start small. Just like practicing gratitude, your “I AM” list will grow. “I get out of bed on more days than I don’t. I am loving with my children more than not. I am mostly patient with my co-workers.”

In my coaching practice I work with clients who come from all spiritual backgrounds. When I work with you, I see you as the whole and complete person who is capable of anything that you truly desire. I help my clients as they come into alignment with this vision. Contact me to schedule your first 30-minute call right now. Together we can work through the issues that you feel are holding you back from living a life you love!

Nana Lin’s Corner: My Body Belongs to Me from My Head to My Toes

I thought I would share another book with you this month. The book is: My Body Belongs to Me from My Head to My Toes, Created by Pro Familia. My granddaughter Sydney is only 4 years old but has learned to express how she feels if someone gets to close to her, tickles her or does something she doesn’t like. When she was 2, she had people who loved to tickle her, and by the expression on her face she would show in her eyes she wished they would stop, although she was laughing too. So at 2, her parents and I began telling her if someone does something you don’t like, you need to tell them to STOP and then say I don’t like it when you tickle me or whatever she didn’t like.

Recently Sydney was on the playground after school and a little boy started chasing her and was trying to tag her. He was tagging her in a hitting like way. I was happy to see that she asked him to stop chasing her and then hitting her and repeated it again when he didn’t stop. They continued playing but in a gentler way.

The International Center for Assault Prevention (ICAP), 2013 has a page in the beginning of the book that I think is worth sharing. This is quoted directly form the book:

 “ Dear Grown-ups,

All children worldwide, regardless of where they are from, are vulnerable to potential exploitation and abuse. Reducing children’s vulnerability to victimization needs to start at an early age. However, it does not have to be a formidable task. Parents and caregivers can begin the process by talking to even very young children about their rights to a safe body.

My Body Belongs to Me from My Head to My Toes is a wonderful learning tool that can help facilitate such a discussion. This simple and beautifully illustrated book will help your children to establish a good self-image by being proud of their own body. They will also learn that there are personal body boundaries which they themselves have the right to set. If these limits are violated, it is also their right to be assertive and voice their disapproval. Additionally, this story teaches that if the person violating these boundaries doesn’t stop, then the child does not have to keep a secret but is empowered to find a trusted adult to tell.

We would recommend you use this book as a building block to set a foundation of safety, and to create a reduction of vulnerability, as well as increased self-awareness and empowerment that can last your child a lifetime.”

– The International Center for Assault Prevention (ICAP)

It is the simple things we say and do for our children at an early age that will help empower them as they get older. I feel it is not only important to tell children to tell someone to STOP but also to tell them they don’t like it. I know this book talks about what to do about being touch inappropriately but I think we also need to teach our children what to say to someone who is doing something they may not like. Tickling may be fun to some but inappropriate for others. Help Empower Our Children!

Have a refreshing fall and appreciate the beauty around you!

Transformation Part 2: Demolition And What To Do When Change Gets Messy

Last month we talked about transformation, which means to literally change our form. In this case we are talking about a transformation in our lives from our current conditions to a life we love to live. We learned about looking at the shadows in our life, the places that we feel the least loved and happy, and accepting and loving them as they are thus setting us free from those ‘monsters’. This month we continue to dig deep into the subject of transformation.

Have you ever found yourself in this situation? You want to make a change. You study and formulate a plan. You dream of the end results, right down to every detail. You set intentions and say affirmations. Confident you will succeed, you start the work. Before long, you look around and everything is in shambles. This is not at all what you thought it would be like. Nothing seems to be working out for you. Things are painful, uncomfortable, and aggravating. In fact, you seem to be failing! You pull out your gratitude practice and your affirmative prayers – and yet it FEELS like nothing is going as planned. What did you do wrong?

Well, before you give up, consider this analogy: Have you ever done a home renovation? You make your plans, get a mental image of the ‘perfect’ results, pick out all the new ‘stuff’, hire professionals (or study up on your D.I.Y. skills), and now you’re ready to transform your old room into something new. What is the first step in the process? DEMOLITION. To make room for the NEW you must pack up all your belongings and remove them from the room, then rip out and rearrange the old.

Let’s say you’ve paid a contractor to remodel your kitchen and they show you the plan for the finished product and you LOVE it. But let’s say this is your first remodel and you have no idea what to expect. So, you come home from work one day and get ready to cook dinner. You walk into the kitchen and nearly scream at what you see. Cabinets are gone, holes in walls, appliances removed. What has he done to me? you frantically think to yourself. Angrily you call the contractor. What was he thinking? You can’t live like this! How dare he rip your kitchen apart without consulting you first? You hope he doesn’t think you will pay him for this disaster!

Now let’s say that the contractor actually got done more than he expected and is pleased with the progress in your home. He thinks you are going to be thrilled at the progress and at the fact that he may even be able to save you some money if things continue to go as smoothly. He cheerfully answers the phone and next thing he knows you are screaming and shouting about the state of the kitchen. He is livid! How dare you take for granted all of his hard work? How dare you speak at him like that when he was just thinking of saving you some money? What is your problem?

Now you have two people who see the situation from vastly different perspectives and the potential for a BIG problem. You didn’t know that the process would get ugly before it started getting better. He didn’t know that you didn’t know what to expect.

Life can be just like this. We don’t always know what to expect when we’re about to make changes in life. In fact, the only thing that we can say for sure is “there will be change”. When we’re used to trying to maintain life as it is all of the time, we’re not used to the DEMOLITION process and have no idea what to look for or what to expect. In much of our society, we have been conditioned to see things as either “right” or “wrong” rather than just evolving. Our reaction to the things that are changing in life greatly impact the outcome. We can lose our cool and blow up at the people around us who are doing the job/s we’ve asked them to do, or we can remember that we are in the demolition phase of change.

So, we’re human. We’re bound to react from time to time in ways that we wish we hadn’t. So now what do we do after we’ve yelled at the contractor and he’s explained to us that this is the normal process? After we make our amends, how can we move forward through this process without making life too difficult for everyone involved?

  1. Let go. We’ve never made this change before and so we’re not going to be able to predict what the process will look like or to control every step in the journey. This is where faith comes in. We’ve discussed our gratitude practice, affirmations, journaling, and these are all great tools to keep us on track as we adjust to the process of letting go and allowing the change to happen. Also remember that this process of letting go is a process. It comes with practice so don’t beat up on yourself too much when you have a reaction and lose your cool.
  2. Measure. It’s also important to measure our progress. Just as the contractor had a goal for how much of the demo work to get done the first day and was pleased that he was making great time, you can set small goals for yourself. Just as we’ve learned that we will see that which we intend to see, intend to look for progress at every phase—even the messy phase.
  3. Reward. Just as our contractor was willing to reduce the price of the remodel for good results, set a reward or two in place for yourself. Never underestimate the value of positive self-talk. Take some time to congratulate yourself and to really feel proud of your progress.
    An example of this comes from one of my clients who told me that she was waiting to afford to get a pedicure. That was one of the things that she missed doing on a regular basis and no longer felt she could afford to. She decided that if it wasn’t in the budget, she could do a pedicure at home but with as much love as she could muster. So, she got all of her supplies together and sat down and as she worked on her own feet, she thanked them for literally carrying her through life without fail! She loved each toe as she clipped and filed and painted the nails. Of course, having someone else do a pedicure feels amazing, but no one else can pour out love into your cells the way that you can. In this way she was able to show appreciation for herself and her hard work without spending money.
  4. Raise vibrations. We also want to raise our energetic vibration so that we are a match for that which we intend to see happen in our lives. Each day, consider how life would feel if you were already living the life you love. Feel that feeling. Immerse yourself in it. Hold it for as long as you can, then pick something simple that you can do that will allow you to continue to feel that feeling throughout the day.
    Here is a great morning reflection to help to raise those vibes: “How would I feel right now if I were absolutely certain that this (my current circumstance) is exactly how it should look while I am remodeling to achieve the life I love living?”
  5. Become a match. Like attracts like, it’s the Law. In order to create more of something, we need to become that which we wish to attract. If you want to attract love, practice being more loving. To attract money, practice giving money. To attract praise, practice giving sincere praise.
    Journal entry: “What is one thing that I can do today to practice being ____ (loving, prosperous, etc) in order to attract more of the same?”

As a professionally trained coach, I work with clients who are in the ‘mess’ of change. They come to me when they need another perspective and need help to identify the progress when everything around them seems to be going wrong. When you’re ready to move out of the DEMOLITION phase and see everything fall into place, contact me or to schedule your first consultation.

Remembering Louise Hay

This month our, dear friend Louise Hay transitioned peacefully in her sleep. She was a dynamic woman who devoted nearly her entire life to love and transformation. She pioneered the positive affirmation and brought into mainstream the idea of positive thinking, a gratitude practice, and the mind-body connection.
This remarkable woman was (and continues to be) a light to us all.
Much love.

Nana Lin’s Corner: What Do You Do With A Problem?

Sydney and I were at Barnes and Noble for Story time this past month and the reader introduced the children to an amazing book that goes along nicely with the theme in my September’s Newsletter. The book is: What Do You Do with a Problem? By Kobi Yamada and Illustrated by Mae Besom. The author states that this book encourages you to look closely at problems and discover the possibilities they can hold. It is a story for anyone, at any age, who has ever had a problem that they wished would go away. It’s a story to inspire you to look closely at that problem and to find out why it’s here. By doing so you might discover something amazing about your problem… and yourself.

Publishers Weekly states that in the book, the boy says, “I didn’t want it. I didn’t ask for it. I really didn’t like having a problem, but it was there.” The boy wanders through a medievalesque town, accompanied by sleek, silvery flying fish that dart about like swallows. Soon the cloud grows into a storm. “The more I avoided my problem, the more I saw it everywhere.” At last the boy has an epiphany. Armed with goggles, his hair thrown back by the force of the storm’s energy, he reaches into the heart of the cloud and finds light. “I discovered it had something beautiful inside. My problem held an opportunity!” —

This book is from the same author and illustrator as the #1 nationally best-selling What Do You Do with an Idea? It is also worth reading to the children in your family. Both books make great gifts. I actually received this book from, my coaching mentor Mary Morrissey as great reminder that we can indeed have an idea come to fruition.
If we start reading books like this to our children, they will easily remember that every situation can be dealt with and usually in a positive way.

So how will you handle a situation the next time is arises? It may be easier than you think. Stay positive and give energy to the positive and let these thoughts create your reality!

Have a great September!

Making Monsters Into Friends, and How to Truly Transform Your Life For the Better!

Over the past few months we’ve been talking about recreating a life we love living by creating new paradigms, using gratitude and positive affirmations, journaling, and other tools that are helpful when starting any positive new habit. This month we begin to dig a little deeper as we discuss what it takes to really, truly create transformation in our lives.

The definition of Transformation is “a thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance.” To transform our lives, we need to understand what is limiting us. Here is a story to illustrate:

“Once upon a time there was a little girl who had a very scary monster that lived in her closet. Her parents promised her every night that the monster was not real and couldn’t hurt her, but she had seen it with her own eyes. To her, the monster was VERY real and VERY scary. She tried keeping the closet door closed and tried to think about something else. But no matter how hard she tried, all she could think of was that monster waiting to ‘get’ her!

Finally, the little girl decided that she had enough of being scared, shivering under the covers at night. So this night, she snuck her brother’s baseball bat into bed with her. After hugs and kisses, she waited for the sounds of the house to die down (sure that everyone was sleeping) and clutched at the bat. She wanted to surprise the monster, so she didn’t dare turn on the light. Hands trembling and knees shaking, she carefully snuck to the closet door. She had seen the monster inside, taunting her, sharp teeth and long claws ready to snatch her and gobble her up! She held her breath, threw open the door and swung with all of the strength in her little body. There was a clamor and she fell to the floor. Moments later the light to her room switched on, her parents rushed inside to see why she was laying on the floor. The little girl dared to open her eyes, to look and see what must surely be an injured monster in the closet. A mess of clothes and toys lay on the floor of the closet. She looked and looked, and seeing no evidence of the monster she thought she must have scared him away!

The next night, after hugs and kisses, the little girl prepared for the best sleep in months. She peeked over to the closet door and to her surprise, the monster had returned. She must have just made him angry! What if he was mad and would ‘get’ her? She lay in bed, sobbing, and tried to think of a new plan. She thought about what she had learned about school and how scared she was on the first day because she didn’t know anyone. She had an idea!

The next night the little girl decided to sneak some cookies to bed. After the house was quiet, she crept to the closet door, trembling arms outstretched offering the cookies in front of her. She carefully opened the door, straining in the low light, preparing to run at the first sight of the monster jumping for her. He didn’t. He just stood there. She held out the cookies. He stared at her. “I-I-I brought you a t-t-treat.” She stammered. He stood there.

In an instant, her bedroom light was on and in front of the little girl were clothes on hangers. She had been face-to-face with her monster and he was gone! Seeing the confused look on the little girl’s face, her mother turned the light back off. The girl nearly jumped, as her monster had returned. The mom let out a quiet giggle and turned the light back on. The monster was gone and only clothing remained. The girl reached out and grabbed ahold of a sleeve that hung there. Mom turned the light off quickly and suddenly the girl was holding a long monster claw! Only it wasn’t a claw at all! It was cloth. Mom’s giggles now filled the room as she turned the light on and off. Soon the girl was laughing too.

There was no monster. What she had SEEN with her own eyes and had been CERTAIN about, was no more than her mind playing a trick.”

We’ve all had experiences in our lives that have created very real seeming monsters. Whether physical traumas or emotional injuries, we’ve had times in our lives when we have been disappointed by ourselves or another. The resulting ‘monsters’ are just as real and just as terrifying in our lives as this little girl’s monster in the story above. An example would be a terrible car accident which results in a fear of driving in heavy traffic. The car accident happened in the past, but to our mind, it happens every time we get into a car in traffic. We are held hostage by fear of reliving trauma and as we have learned in past months, we begin to manifest trauma in other areas of our lives because that is what we are looking for. Just like the little girl, we may think that by pushing our monsters down, beating them up, or shutting them away will keep us ‘safe’. The reality is, the one true way to be rid of our monsters is to befriend them. By the light of love, we see our monsters for what they truly are.

As we’ve learned in past months, we create our current reality based on what we intend to look for. This is a combination of our deeply held beliefs (paradigms) and our current intentions. Holding positive intentions and a gratitude practice are great starts, but true freedom requires us to dig a little deeper.

One of the most obvious examples of transformation in nature is that of the butterfly. The butterfly starts out as a hairy, creepy looking worm. The caterpillar stage doesn’t last very long and is mostly spent eating, preparing for the work ahead. After a few days of hard work forming a cocoon or chrysalis, the worm sleeps in darkness and its body changes in every way. When the former worm appears, it has grown the most beautiful wings and takes flight.

Like the butterfly, transformation in humans is a process. It begins with nourishment. We fill ourselves with as much “green” wholesome information as possible. With effort, we then create a safe space to rest and allow the transformation to take place. We enter into complete and total darkness, alone. We make our peace with the darkness and ‘rest’. This is when transformation happens. Transformation can’t be forced but does require energy.

Consider the story again about the little girl. She tried to resist thinking of the monster in her closet, and that only caused her fears to grow. “What we resist persists.” Keeping the closet door closed didn’t work either because she was sure that the monster was just waiting for her inside. It takes a great deal of effort to struggle against something. Keeping our monsters pushed down, bottled up, or trying to ignore them takes so much effort that it is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. This is literally how disease is created in the body and mind.

Like the butterfly, transformation can’t be forced. It happens naturally. One day we enter the darkness and surrender to ‘sleep’ or make peace with the darkness, and the next day we emerge changed.

So how do we create transformation without pushing it away or causing our monsters to grow?

This is where we get to dig a little deeper. This is where a little courage and a lot of love come in. It begins with facing and forgiving those parts of ourselves that we want to keep hidden. We go into our figurative cocoons, into complete darkness, and make peace—our figurative nap—so that the natural process of transformation can occur. Just as the pushing energy of trying to force change keeps real and lasting change at bay, the force of resistance against the things we like least about ourselves cause them to grow. “What you resist persists.” The only way to truly be free of the things in our lives that we hate or fear the most is through love. Love forgives. Forgiveness heals.

There are many ways to come face-to-face with the scary or unpleasant parts of ourselves that we feel are unlovable and to create space for forgiveness and healing to take place. EFT Tapping, Mirror work and Journaling are a few. It’s important when facing these parts of ourselves to not get ‘stuck’ in the muck of blaming, shaming, or punishing yourself. This is where working with a trained coach is invaluable. A neutral outside perspective holds the light, the beacon, to help you as you navigate these dark spaces. Just as the mother from our first story knew just when to turn on and off the light for the girl so that she could know for herself the truth about her monster, a trained coach knows when to shine the light, when to push, and when to step back and allow. Contact me today when you’re ready to begin your transformation.

Nana Lin’s Corner: Collecting Feathers

For as long as I can remember I have collected FEATHERS.

In my eyes, they are reminders to us that God, Spirit, Angels or any other person or figure you refer to as an Invisible Representation to the one you pray to for assistance, to keep you on target and to guide you when you need the extra helping hand or are just grateful for.

Last September I went on a Spiritual Retreat. Carrie Hart, a Modern Day Shaman, brought me several Peacock Feathers from her backyard. I proudly displayed them on a Peacock Themed Christmas Tree and have kept it up as a reminder of the connection to God and the meaning of peacocks and my Spiritual Journey.

So when I see a feather and I am with my 4 year old granddaughter, I remind her of my interpretation of finding a feather.

Just recently, Sydney’s mom wasn’t feeling well, so Sydney went to her cousins’ house with her dad and left her mom home to rest. While playing outside Sydney saw a beautiful large white feather. She picked it up and wanted to bring it home to her mom because she knew it would make her feel better. When Sydney got home she was so excited to present her mom with the feather. She mentioned to her, “that an angel was praying for her to get better”.

It’s not about collecting or spotting the feathers, but it is about finding connections to something that is a cue that God is present, just notice there are all kinds of reminders if you are just aware! SO what do you see as reminders that there is a presence greater than what you can see?

Chill Out! How journaling keeps you spiritually cool when life gets HOT!

August is one of the hottest months of the year. Have you ever noticed that as temperatures rise, so can tempers? It’s why we refer to an angry person as ‘hot’. People are uncomfortable in high heat, and when lacking other productive habits to deal with stress, can take out their discomfort on others. Life is all about relationships, so part of living a life that feels better to you, includes creating an atmosphere of better feeling with others. Whatever we put ‘out’ we always get back. So, how can you keep spiritually, mentally, and emotionally cool even when things are ‘hot’?

 ” In the diary you find proof that in situations which today would seem unbearable, you lived, looked around and wrote down observations, that this right hand moved then as it does today, when we may be wiser because we are able to look back upon our former condition, and for that very reason have got to admit the courage of our earlier striving in which we persisted even in sheer ignorance.”
—Franz Kafka, The Diaries 1910-1923

Journaling allows an emotional release. As the mind plans what to write on the page, you consciously or unconsciously ask yourself deep questions: How am I feeling? What events led to this? Where do I have power to make other choices? What have I learned?

According to, “With practice, [someone who journals] sees himself plan what he wants to write about, focus on the activity, use reasoning skills, and confront emotions and behaviors that could be problematic as he tries to get his old life back,” Lewis says. “In the rehabilitation field, we say that the client who uses journaling as a tool for recovery is practicing both bottom-up and top-down skills: he’s rehabilitating specific cognitive skills like paying attention to and organizing thoughts by practicing them, and he’s using metacognitive skills to think about how his brain injury is affecting his thinking, emotions, and behavior.”

This tool is beneficial for dealing with emotional injury as well. For years, mental health professionals have suggested patients write letters to those who have harmed them (even if they shred or burn them after) and patients report a shift in the way they feel about that person and emotional relief from the harm that was done.
My own clients who participate in a daily gratitude practice that involves writing down the things for which they are grateful, report massive shifts in not only their emotional well-being, but also in tangible manifestations in their life.

One client tells the following story:

“My husband and I were living less than paycheck-to-paycheck. Each month we chose which bills to fully pay and which to make partial payments on. Between both our incomes, we paid whichever bills were due around payday, counting on payday to come before the next due date. One bad week, and we would find ourselves in big trouble financially since our expenses exceeded our income.

We began to notice a pattern every time we came into extra money. We would plan what we would spend our tax refund or bonus checks on, but inevitably there would be some unplanned expense right as we had the extra money. We thought we must have the worst luck in the world.

After beginning a gratitude practice, we began to ask ourselves if the inevitable expense had been awaiting a time when we could actually afford it, and if our bad luck was actually our greatest blessing. Since a gratitude list had helped us to see this gift work in our lives, we decided to make a ‘set it and forget it’ list. We wrote a list of all of the things that we would eventually like to have or do. We set the list aside and ‘forgot’ it.

Within about 3 or 4 years, when transferring hard drives, my husband found this list. He shared it with me and we laughed as we noticed that all but 1 or two items had been done.”

This is just one of many examples that illustrates the power of the written word. Journaling allows us to not only write to release emotional toxins, it also allows us to create positively what we want to experience in life.

There is a residual effect that happens when journaling is part of a regular practice. Clients who journal regularly report that the things that used to stress them out, no longer seem so important. The mind has an opportunity to put into perspective the situation and allows us to use our creative powers to formulate answers.

Here is a quick journaling practice to get you started:

  • “Over the next six months to one year, I would like to see positive change in this area of my life:”
  • “These are the feelings I would like to experience more of:”
  • “These are specific things I would like to do:”
  • “These are specific tangible items I would like to add:”
  • “These are better feeling relationships I would like to cultivate:”
  • “This is an activity I can see myself participating in:”

My coaching practice is devoted to sharing the tools that I have learned along the way for creating a better feeling life. I work closely with clients like you to work through difficult situations and to help you see your way to the life you ultimately want to live. Contact me today  for a no-cost 30 minute intro session to discover how we can work together to bring you more lasting joy.

“ Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.” —William Wordsworth

Nana Lin’s Corner: Fun While Playing Cards or Board Games

When was the last time you played a card game or a board game?

The other day it was raining and my 4 year old granddaughter and I played about 6 games of Go Fish. She doesn’t like to lose but we are working on the ‘Fun Factor’ verses the ‘Need to Win’ factor. Laughing and giggling were all part of the fun afternoon!

From the traditional card deck to the ones with their favorite character, children can be entertained during those quiet times of the day. Games played with another individual or individuals are great for kids in so many ways.

According to Peter J. Pizzolongo, the senior director of professional development at the National Association for the Education of Young Children, games are a fun way to learn how to “follow rules, focus, take turns and defer gratification, which helps with self-regulation, the basis of problem-solving and thinking creatively,” These games can bring families and friends together. They can help give variety and temporarily keep children away from the Wii, computer games, and games on the tablet or iPad.

There are so many lessons children can learn by playing with another member of the family or friend. These are just a few skills a child may learn while playing: Simple counting skills, how to take turns, how to deal the cards, how to be a good winner (and a good loser), patience, and sportsmanship; just to name a few. These games help kids feel like they matter and are a part of something fun.

So when you have a chance set aside some time to interact with your child, grandchild or friend and make cards and board games another Fun Family Experience whether rain or shine!

Enjoy the summer, be flexible and have fun!

Nan Lin, aka Linda Riddle

” Almost All Creativity Involves Purposeful Play” – Abraham Maslow

Manifesting With Trust: Your thoughts create your reality!

We have all heard the expression ‘blind faith’. A dictionary definition of blind faith is “belief without true understanding, perception, or discrimination.”

The differences between faith and blind faith are simple: You can have faith that something will occur knowing that the evidence suggests the outcome, but blind-faith is having faith something will occur with no evidence or conflicting evidence against that outcome. When we’re in the midst of a struggle it may seem as if we’re placing faith blindly because at the time there may be no logical way that we can imagine life working out for us. But there is another way to look at faith. Faith is trusting that life is always working for your best, never against you.

Many people will read the last sentence and will immediately have a list of examples to ‘prove’ that this statement simply isn’t true. There was this time, that time, and another time when awful things happened to you and despite trying your best, you were victim of circumstance.

It’s true that we always do our best. And in our life our best can change. But just as our best can change, so can the reality of any situation.

“ Thinking and acting with faith changes the results that you get.” – Alan Cohen

Many times in my life I’ve encountered situations where fear-based thoughts have taken over and just as I expected, something difficult or ‘bad’ resulted.

For example, have you ever had one of those days when you wake up on the “wrong side of the bed”? Everything seems to go wrong. You overslept, you skip breakfast, you rush out the door and forget your keys, you have to run back and get them, and finally you run into to so much traffic. Everyone on the road seems to be in the same hurried frame of mind; you can see the expressions on their faces, mad, heated, and frustrated. Yikes! Now you are really late for work. The more you think about being late, the later it becomes.

Remember, our thoughts create our reality. 

As I’ve grown in my daily practice of gratitude and awareness, I’ve learned to shift my focus. During those times when I would have been fearful or doubtful, I’ve learned instead to focus on gratitude (which raises my vibration and allows me to feel better in general and less fearful) and then trust that the Divine has a solution for me. And just as expected, something manifests and things work out for the better. It seems counterintuitive to place faith in something that you have no way of knowing for sure will work out for you, but that is the nature of faith. The times when things seem at the worse are the times when we are being asked to practice trusting the most.

Now let me share another story about being late: You are waiting at the airport and find out your airplane will be late. You realize that means you might miss your connection. The new you steps back and intends that all is well and you’ll make the connection and be able to see your family tonight. You see all the people around you upset but you are seeing everything work out for the highest good. Do you know how this will happen? Not exactly but you know you have the tools to remain positive. So, your plane takes off and when you arrive at the gate you are pleasantly surprised that you are exactly in the right place, in fact after the plane is clean you’ll be back on the same plane and arriving home on time!

It’s natural when faced with situations where the outcome is unpredictable to feel threatened. These trying times don’t have to be so scary. Faith/trust, like any other practice, is a tool that we can develop. As we practice trust and faith, we see evidence of life working out for us instead of against us. We begin to see that we really do create our own reality based on the way we perceive our circumstances. How many times have you looked back on a situation only to notice that even though it felt difficult, things were actually working out for you? Imagine how the situation may have been different if only you had been looking for the blessing rather than feeling angry or scared or sad about it. Suddenly the worst experience in your life (which is usually what we’re thinking when we’re in the midst of it) is the most transformative and beautiful phase in our journey. It’s all about our perception of any situation and having faith that all is well in hand and life always works out for the best.

There’s a simple practice that we all can do to begin to see results in our daily life. But when we’re emotional, it can be more difficult to see the results because of our emotional attachment to the situation. We start with something very simple that doesn’t have much significance—just to see if this really works. Just like doing a science project in school, we use the Scientific Method to prove or disprove this principle.

A Call to ACTION: You don’t have to take my word for it, try it yourself! For the next 48 hours, try this experiment yourself. With an open mind, see what shows up for you. (Credit: E²  by Pam Grout, HAY HOUSE, INC. Copyright © 2013)

  1. Question: “Do I have any say over my life? Am I just handed good or bad luck in life or do I get to choose how life works for me?”
  2. Theory/Concept : “Life shows up for me according to how I am willing to see it. Life is just a reflection of my inner thoughts about it.”
  3. Hypothesis: “If I look for something specific over the next 48 hours, I will see it show up according to my intent (where I am focusing my attention).”
  4. The Test: On day one set your intention and actively look for the evidence. “I hereby intend for the next 24 hours to look for butterflies.” (or replace ‘butterflies’ with any object of your choosing). The next day, repeat this statement and look for something else. An example might be: “I hereby intend for the next 24 hours to look for Volkswagen Beetles.”
  5. Measure: Day one I looked for ____________. Number that showed up: ______.
    Day two I looked for _______________. Number that showed up: ______.
    Additional notes or observations: _______________________________________________.

Please play along with me and post on my Facebook page: Linda B Riddle Inc -Coaching and Consulting. I’d be thankful if you’d like the page too. Be on the lookout for some more posts that ask you to intend to find something, look for it, and post how many you found.

Now that you have practiced something as simple and insignificant as seeing butterflies or Volkswagen Beetles, imagine what could show up for you if you practice seeing joy, gratitude, abundance, love, and whatever it is that you feel might be missing. How could life change for you?

In my coaching practice, I work with clients to see life in a whole new way. I’m blessed to see miracles created in the lives of those I work with and am here to help you! Contact me today to schedule your first 30-minute session.