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We’ve been discussing Transformation: The literal change from one form to another. In this case we are working on transformation in our lives, from the average day-to-day to a life we truly, deeply, love living. In September we talked about the real-life monsters that can creep up and stand in the way when we’re undergoing any change. October was all about the demolition phase of change, when we let go of and clean out the old ways of being to make room for a new way of being. This month we continue to deepen the conversation of Transformation as we look at how to increase our capacity.

We discuss gratitude a lot here and I talk a lot about it in my coaching practice and daily life. That’s because it’s the quickest way to raise our energetic vibration to become a match for that which we want to experience in life, and because gratitude and fear/anger cannot exist at the same time.

If you have practiced gratitude for a long period of time, you may have noticed that the changes that seemed to be so profound in the beginning, can taper off or even stop. This is because while gratitude is a great starting point, it’s a PART of a bigger process. If you jump into gratitude and ignore the rest of the process, you can stagnate.

Transformation involves creating space for MORE. When you’re dissatisfied with the old way of living life, it’s an indicator that you want to do, be, or have MORE. And so, to make space for MORE, you are being called to increase your capacity. You have the potential to have anything you want to have. It’s your birthright as a human living on planet earth. Every resource imaginable is potentially yours. You have the potential to move mountains, walk on water, become a billionaire captain of industry—but you may not have that capacity. Capacity is potential that has developed authentically in your experience. It’s equal to your level of consciousness.

Mary Morrissey, a transformational coach and my mentor, teaches a 5-step process that is based on the transformational teachings of Ernest Holmes (founder of The Science of Mind) and drawn from the Vedas. (The Vedas are a collection of hymns and other religious texts composed in India between about 1500 and 1000 BCE. It includes elements such as liturgical material as well as mythological accounts, poems, prayers, and formulas considered to be sacred by the Vedic religion.) During this 5-step process, you deepen your understanding of Gratitude and its role in transformation.

The 5 steps are:

1. Recognize
2. Unify
3. Realize
4. Give thanks
5. Release

Over the coming months we’re going to break these steps down. So, let’s begin with #1.

Recognize: Recognize is a thinking step. You recognize mentally who you really are, that you are always connected to Source energy (God, the Universe, etc.).

If you were raised with a religious background, you may have had an upbringing that taught you that you are full of sin, separated from God by your sin, and it’s in your nature and thus nothing that you ever do will allow you to be whole or complete or ‘good enough’ for God. Yet, anyone who has ever held a newborn baby knows that we are all born into this world whole, complete, and perfect. With respect for all religious paths, I have found in my experience that the only thing that keeps me separate from source energy is any vibration that has a low frequency. Ironically, the vibrational frequency of guilt is a very low vibration. The more you feel guilty, the more separate from Source you will feel.

The Truth is, that there is no separation. There is a reason why you WANT the things and experiences that you want. As a being who is divinely connected with Source, all the things that you want for your life continue to flow to you for no other reason than: it’s who you are.

A client tells her story: “When my children were 3 and 1 we were in the car and I was listening to my oldest child who was singing sweetly to herself. I had one of those ‘mom’ moments when I realized that although she was a handful, she was the perfect creation. She was a 3-year-old and 3-year-olds were SUPPOSED to be curious and into everything. At 2, she was the perfect 2-year-old. At a year, she was the perfect 1-year-old. Although she had changed form, nothing had changed from that perfect newborn.” And then she thought, “If I can accept that she is perfect at 3 for her current level of development, then why is it so hard for me to accept that I am also perfect at 30-something?”

Consider the Truth of this simple story. At every age in life you are learning and growing. You would never hold a 3-year-old to the standard of a 5-year-old. You know that they need to learn and grow and develop and eventually they will be 5 and capable of doing the things that a 5-year-old does. However, as a being who has lived on the planet for 3 years, they are perfectly developed for who they are. At every age you too are a perfect creation, doing your very best at your current level of understanding and development. Source, just like a loving parent, knows and understands you and is proud of you at every turn. The only person who subjects you to judgement is yourself.

You were created in order for the Universe to expand through you. Your job is to literally create more. Your desires for things and experiences that feel good to you are a part of that creative process. If you consider human evolution on our planet, you see this evidence throughout history. In the past 50 years through technological advancements, we have completely transformed the way that humans live in a very short amount of time. These advancements in the world happened because someone wanted to create a better feeling life for themselves or others. Someone else wanted to feel good, and so all of humanity benefits!

If you’re like I used to be, you may feel like actually getting what you want from life makes you ‘selfish’ or ‘entitled’. You may feel that if you were to get everything that you want, someone else would lose out on something that they want. This idea comes from a lack mentality or the mindset that there is not enough to go around. Part of RECOGNIZE is recognizing that the Universe has an ever-growing abundance of resources. No matter how the demand grows, the supply will always more than keep up. So, when you recognize (think) that the Universe is constantly expanding, there is never any reason to feel guilty or spoiled for getting the things you really want. And when you recognize that the Universe constantly expands because you and I are causing it to expand through actually doing, being, and having the things that we want to do, be, and have; you realize that you are not only one with Source, you are Source- acting through you as You. In this way, there is literally no separation.

When you recognize that you come into this world as perfect, whole, and complete and that your job is expansion through creativity, you begin to see your Truth. The Truth is that no matter how dark your circumstances seem, your connection to Source energy is always bigger. The Truth of who you are says that you are not defined by your circumstances. Your Truth is that you are a mighty creative force.

Here are some simple suggestions to help you this month as you learn to recognize the Truth of who you really are:

1. Practice seeing the goodness in every person. When you find yourself in judgment of another, practice giving them the benefit of the doubt. Consider what life must be like for them to have arrived at a place where their behavior seems appropriate to them. A little empathy can shed new light and the positive aspects of even the most annoying people will naturally surface.
2. Change your routine. Go down the street the opposite way and notice what you see. Changing up your routine allows you to notice new details all around you. Sometimes we forget just how amazing the planet on which we live truly is! Appreciating the grandeur of all of creation reminds you of who you are and why you’re here.
3. Get out of your mind. As soon as you notice ‘stinkin thinkin’, start naming objects that surround to break your negative thinking. “Carpet, sofa, chair, TV, light, afghan, phone” or whatever you see. This interrupts the train of thought and brings your energy to neutral.
4. Stay in the present moment. If you MUST focus on more, think only of this 24-hour day. Notice what triggers you or what makes you happy. Write this in your journal.
5. Let go of the story that keeps you stuck. Begin imagining a new better version of you! Without the story that tells you that you are less than or can’t, begin writing about all of the wonderful things that you ARE and that you CAN do. If you have to, start small. Just like practicing gratitude, your “I AM” list will grow. “I get out of bed on more days than I don’t. I am loving with my children more than not. I am mostly patient with my co-workers.”

In my coaching practice I work with clients who come from all spiritual backgrounds. When I work with you, I see you as the whole and complete person who is capable of anything that you truly desire. I help my clients as they come into alignment with this vision. Contact me to schedule your first 30-minute call right now. Together we can work through the issues that you feel are holding you back from living a life you love!

Last month we talked about transformation, which means to literally change our form. In this case we are talking about a transformation in our lives from our current conditions to a life we love to live. We learned about looking at the shadows in our life, the places that we feel the least loved and happy, and accepting and loving them as they are thus setting us free from those ‘monsters’. This month we continue to dig deep into the subject of transformation.

Have you ever found yourself in this situation? You want to make a change. You study and formulate a plan. You dream of the end results, right down to every detail. You set intentions and say affirmations. Confident you will succeed, you start the work. Before long, you look around and everything is in shambles. This is not at all what you thought it would be like. Nothing seems to be working out for you. Things are painful, uncomfortable, and aggravating. In fact, you seem to be failing! You pull out your gratitude practice and your affirmative prayers – and yet it FEELS like nothing is going as planned. What did you do wrong?

Well, before you give up, consider this analogy: Have you ever done a home renovation? You make your plans, get a mental image of the ‘perfect’ results, pick out all the new ‘stuff’, hire professionals (or study up on your D.I.Y. skills), and now you’re ready to transform your old room into something new. What is the first step in the process? DEMOLITION. To make room for the NEW you must pack up all your belongings and remove them from the room, then rip out and rearrange the old.

Let’s say you’ve paid a contractor to remodel your kitchen and they show you the plan for the finished product and you LOVE it. But let’s say this is your first remodel and you have no idea what to expect. So, you come home from work one day and get ready to cook dinner. You walk into the kitchen and nearly scream at what you see. Cabinets are gone, holes in walls, appliances removed. What has he done to me? you frantically think to yourself. Angrily you call the contractor. What was he thinking? You can’t live like this! How dare he rip your kitchen apart without consulting you first? You hope he doesn’t think you will pay him for this disaster!

Now let’s say that the contractor actually got done more than he expected and is pleased with the progress in your home. He thinks you are going to be thrilled at the progress and at the fact that he may even be able to save you some money if things continue to go as smoothly. He cheerfully answers the phone and next thing he knows you are screaming and shouting about the state of the kitchen. He is livid! How dare you take for granted all of his hard work? How dare you speak at him like that when he was just thinking of saving you some money? What is your problem?

Now you have two people who see the situation from vastly different perspectives and the potential for a BIG problem. You didn’t know that the process would get ugly before it started getting better. He didn’t know that you didn’t know what to expect.

Life can be just like this. We don’t always know what to expect when we’re about to make changes in life. In fact, the only thing that we can say for sure is “there will be change”. When we’re used to trying to maintain life as it is all of the time, we’re not used to the DEMOLITION process and have no idea what to look for or what to expect. In much of our society, we have been conditioned to see things as either “right” or “wrong” rather than just evolving. Our reaction to the things that are changing in life greatly impact the outcome. We can lose our cool and blow up at the people around us who are doing the job/s we’ve asked them to do, or we can remember that we are in the demolition phase of change.

So, we’re human. We’re bound to react from time to time in ways that we wish we hadn’t. So now what do we do after we’ve yelled at the contractor and he’s explained to us that this is the normal process? After we make our amends, how can we move forward through this process without making life too difficult for everyone involved?

1. Let go. We’ve never made this change before and so we’re not going to be able to predict what the process will look like or to control every step in the journey. This is where faith comes in. We’ve discussed our gratitude practice, affirmations, journaling, and these are all great tools to keep us on track as we adjust to the process of letting go and allowing the change to happen. Also remember that this process of letting go is a process. It comes with practice so don’t beat up on yourself too much when you have a reaction and lose your cool.
2. Measure. It’s also important to measure our progress. Just as the contractor had a goal for how much of the demo work to get done the first day and was pleased that he was making great time, you can set small goals for yourself. Just as we’ve learned that we will see that which we intend to see, intend to look for progress at every phase—even the messy phase.
3. Reward. Just as our contractor was willing to reduce the price of the remodel for good results, set a reward or two in place for yourself. Never underestimate the value of positive self-talk. Take some time to congratulate yourself and to really feel proud of your progress.
   An example of this comes from one of my clients who told me that she was waiting to afford to get a pedicure. That was one of the things that she missed doing on a regular basis and no longer felt she could afford to. She decided that if it wasn’t in the budget, she could do a pedicure at home but with as much love as she could muster. So, she got all of her supplies together and sat down and as she worked on her own feet, she thanked them for literally carrying her through life without fail! She loved each toe as she clipped and filed and painted the nails. Of course, having someone else do a pedicure feels amazing, but no one else can pour out love into your cells the way that you can. In this way she was able to show appreciation for herself and her hard work without spending money.
4. Raise vibrations. We also want to raise our energetic vibration so that we are a match for that which we intend to see happen in our lives. Each day, consider how life would feel if you were already living the life you love. Feel that feeling. Immerse yourself in it. Hold it for as long as you can, then pick something simple that you can do that will allow you to continue to feel that feeling throughout the day.
   Here is a great morning reflection to help to raise those vibes: “How would I feel right now if I were absolutely certain that this (my current circumstance) is exactly how it should look while I am remodeling to achieve the life I love living?”
5. Become a match. Like attracts like, it’s the Law. In order to create more of something, we need to become that which we wish to attract. If you want to attract love, practice being more loving. To attract money, practice giving money. To attract praise, practice giving sincere praise.
   Journal entry: “What is one thing that I can do today to practice being ____ (loving, prosperous, etc) in order to attract more of the same?”

As a professionally trained coach, I work with clients who are in the ‘mess’ of change. They come to me when they need another perspective and need help to identify the progress when everything around them seems to be going wrong. When you’re ready to move out of the DEMOLITION phase and see everything fall into place, contact me or to schedule your first consultation.