It is important to encourage the people in our lives that we love.
You can do this by putting these Happy Note Messages in a lunch box, under a pillow or on a mirror! You’ll figure out how to surprise someone! I have a downloadable sheet already done for you with some examples. Please feel free to print these out and start using them. I’m sure you can think of your own powerful Happy Notes.
Watch the magic occur when you surprise your loved ones.
Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. — A. A. Milne
Statistically, most people give up on their New Year’s resolutions by February 1st. It’s possible that some of us may not really take this tradition seriously, knowing that it will just be a matter of time before we give in. Some of us may think we are setting goals that we really believe in without being fully invested. Some of us may really want to reach our goal but give in just as soon as ‘real life’ shows up. But for many, the thought of trying and failing ‘yet again’ is enough to keep us from getting truly invested in setting and working towards a goal.
If this happens year after year, then why bother to set goals?
For most of us, there is a deep yearning for life to feel better. And we think that by reaching a goal that we set for ourselves, we will feel better. But have you ever reached a goal only to find that in the end you weren’t REALLY satisfied? Was that goal really for you?
Many of my coaching clients come to me unsure of the goals they really want to accomplish and know they would love my help so they can live a happier and more fulfilled life. They’re either past the point of even trying, or they have so many other things happening in life that they can’t even see themselves reaching a goal that they set for themselves.
So how do we develop a way to stick to the things that we are truly and deeply committed to? How do we keep moving forward even when everything seems stacked against us? How do we begin to work towards feeling that we can even set a goal in the first place, and then really stick to it?
In my coaching programs, there is a quick and easy way that, with practice, has proven to allow my clients to stand firm and work towards those things that are the most important to them.
Please note, if you are unsure that you can even reach a goal right now because life seems so impossible, it’s ok to start small. How about a simple goal of “I think a positive thought about myself each day.” or “I create a gratitude list each night.” In reality, it doesn’t matter what the goal is because the magic is not in reaching a goal, it’s in the shift that happens when retraining your brain to see the positive in life.
1- Test your goal. The first thing I do is ask my clients to put their goal to a test. Any goal worth accomplishing may evoke some degree of fear or resistance. It’s natural when stepping out of your comfort zone to feel a little unsteady. Ultimately any goal worth working towards should be something that is worthy of YOU. Your goal should be worthy of your very precious time, attention, and energy. You can use this worksheet to test your goal to see that it is worthy of pursuing. An example has been filled out for you here.
2- Notice what you notice. So let’s say that you’ve decided that your goal stands up to the test. Once you are committed, what do you do at the first signs of trouble? I ask my clients to describe to me what they notice. How are they feeling? What circumstances are happening around them? What kind of self-talk is happening? Use the worksheet to help you.
Chances are, the types of messages we tell ourselves when the going is rough, are the same messages we tell ourselves in our unconscious thoughts and likely have for years. This unconscious conditioning can seem insurmountable, but it isn’t. The wonderful news about the human mind is that YOU are in control and anything that can be learned can be unlearned or retrained.
3- Reframe negative self-talk. Once you recognize what the negative messaging is, now you can begin to retrain your brain to overcome future self-sabotage or defeat. In those moments of stress when you can feel yourself ready to cave or when life seems too much, there really is value in the old saying ”just take a deep breath”. This practice creates an immediate interrupt in the old automatic thinking and helps bring awareness to our conscious mind about what our old, limiting self-talk has been.
Write down the thoughts or feelings that you may be experiencing. Now try adding the phrase “up until now”. So now “it’s hard to lose weight” becomes “up until now, it’s been hard to lose weight”. By putting this statement in the past, you begin to actually rewire your brain to believe that the old belief is no longer true. You create room for a new, positive belief to grow and develop. You begin to gain power over the unconscious automatic conditioning that may have been running you for years. Use the worksheet to help you.
Next, write down at least one example of a time when you were able to disprove a negative. And since our word is the beginning of any new creation, if you can’t think of a real example right now, create one. Add as many details about this memory as you can– real or imagined. What were you thinking? Feeling? Doing? Use the worksheet to help you.
4- Practice and notice progress. How many times when trying to reach a goal do you notice and scold yourself for “messing up”? How many times do you praise yourself and enjoy your progress? In the past, it may have seemed like a motivator to notice all of the things that you’ve done wrong when trying to reach a goal. The truth is, that wherever we place our focus, we create. So in noticing faults, we create more faults. In noticing progress, we create more progress. This is why we use positive reinforcement when disciplining children. It works!
So take time when you are noticing some resistance in accomplishing your goal to list all of the things that you have done to get closer to the finish line. Congratulate yourself and really soak in the feeling. Think of the things that you really enjoy doing (and they don’t have to cost a dime!) and take some time for yourself to enjoy those things.
As you practice this process, it will happen quicker and more naturally. You will begin to see shifts in so many other areas in your life. As your thoughts are trained to focus on the positive, the other “stuff” seems less important. Those little miracles that carry us through tough times start to show up. The tough times start to become easier to navigate. We begin to see the lessons and gifts that life’s challenges are there to teach us.
Whether you are working on a New Year’s resolution or another goal in your life, you don’t have to do the work alone. I work closely with people just like you who are facing big changes in life and who want to see real progress. Many of my clients come to me without a clear goal, just the feeling that they are tired of life ‘as it is’ and need help to get to a ‘better’ place. I’ve been so blessed to witness client’s lives improve, some slowly over time, some by leaps and bounds very quickly!
I’m here to help. Contact me for a 30 minute discovery session to discuss how we might work together to help you stand firm when it seems that everything else is going wrong and to begin to build a life you love.
Going through divorce, separation, or some other loss is challenging enough. With the holidays approaching, it can be especially harrowing. Commercials on TV remind us of how Christmas ‘should’ be. Carols in all of the stores remind us of that ‘good old feeling’ that we long to recapture every year. Decorations on houses can bring up memories of Holidays past. It can begin to feel as if the things that once brought us so much joy are now painful reminders of what we’ve lost or are losing. The more we think about the loss that our situation has created, the more we spiral into a pity party for one.
There are a lot of ways that newly single divorcees may try to cope with the ‘holiday blues’. It may be tempting to overdo gift-giving or try to compete with the ex for who can get the biggest, most expensive, or largest quantity of gifts for the kids. While this may create a temporary feeling of satisfaction, it can create hostility between competing adults and this teaches children to value ‘stuff’ over relationships. Some may wish to retreat to the clamor of activity and friends to drown out their emotions, losing out on valuable time that could be spent creating new happy memories and new loving traditions. Many people may turn to alcohol or other drugs to escape the reality of their situations, creating negative patterns that can lead to addiction and even greater suffering.
While these ‘quick fixes’ may seem like great ideas in the short run, they are not. Covering over a problem with a ‘quick fix’ is much like putting a bandaid on a dirty wound. Soon the wound festers, infection spreads, and the problem only becomes worse. But there is a way to actually SHIFT those feelings of loss, sadness, and grief at the holidays into something positive. And it’s EASY. Unlike the quick-fixes above, the only side-effect is happiness.
I want you to try something that was researched by Dr. Masaru Emoto. I’m sure you drink water everyday don’t you?
Good. So this should be easy.
Thanks to his experimental work we can look to water, and its frozen crystals, to confirm the healing power of positive thinking, uplifting statements, and prayer. He learned that the written word changed water. Our bodies are made up of about 70% of water so our thoughts and feelings directly affect us every day.
He taped paper strips on bottles of tap water and then photographed the frozen water. He found that words such as “Thank you,” and “I love you,” as if by magic, caused the tap water to form beautiful crystals. Words such as “You make me sick,” or “You are a fool,” caused ugly, distorted crystals or no crystals at all.
When I was young there was a saying, “Sticks and stones will hurt my bones but names will never hurt me.” There is proof from Dr. Emoto that that saying is false! So we can dwell in our pity-party for one and continue to create ‘ugly’ water crystals, or we can choose to transform ourselves as if by magic with loving words and phrases!
Directions for making “Water Blessing” Statements.
Take a clear water bottle, a drinking glass or a water jug and place some loving words or words of gratitude on a strip of paper and paste the strips like the ones below on them.
Get the free download to print your own phrases at home.
Remember that positive, compassionate words comfort and heal; negative words and insults hurt.
Thanks to Masaru Emoto’s experimental work with water crystals, we can look to water, and its frozen crystals, to confirm the healing power of positive thinking, uplifting statements, and prayer. He learned that the written word changed water. Our bodies are made up of about 70% of water so our thoughts and feelings directly affect us every day. Watch more videos below.
When I was a little girl we would gather my siblings together and make the paper chain the beginning of December. I followed the tradition with my 2 girls and last year I started the tradition with my granddaughter. This is fun and easy.
Directions:
Each day leading up to the holiday, remove one link from the chain (or allow the child to do it). Once you are at the topper or last link… celebrate!
Fall is a time of change. How fitting is it that Thanksgiving occurs in the fall? Mother Nature signals to us through the changing colors of leaves and changing temperature that it’s time to put away the old and bring out the new. This time of transition is also a time for gratitude and family. We come together to celebrate the year’s accomplishments and to acknowledge aloud our many blessings.
In the past, Thanksgiving may have been a chaotic experience. Shopping, travel, in-laws, and hours of cooking may have filled our to-do lists. But Thanksgiving is also a time for family togetherness and traditions. As separation and divorce bring with them the opportunity for big change, they also bring opportunity for new traditions to be created.
Change can seem frightening when we’re unsure of what the future holds. Here are 7 tips for creating new Thanksgiving traditions, even in the midst of divorce or separation, that the entire family can enjoy.
Materials needed:
Directions:
Get your children, grandchildren nieces or nephews involved in the Gratitude concept and their life will change too. You can always go on the Internet for more ideas, but when your mind is fuzzy, Keeping it Simple is advised!
Welcome to the month of November. Thanksgiving is Thursday, November 24th and this month we will focus on GRATITUDE. But for those of you that are going through a life transition at this time, you may feel that it is difficult to be grateful when what you are familiar with, has changed.
Do you know that expressing gratitude activates neural pathways in the brain? It then changes your vibrations and actually elevates your mood. As you express gratitude your life will change!
There are Four Key Areas of Your Life that will begin to have a positive effect on your life when you adopt a Daily Gratitude Ritual. The Four Key Areas of Your life are Health and Well-Being, Time and Money Freedom, Relationships and Vocation.
The power of gratitude derives from the most elementary law of metaphysics:
You will receive more of whatever you concentrate on.
Bless and praise what is working instead of being disappointed in what isn’t working. In other words, when you give thanks for something, the Law of Attraction will draw more of the same into your experience. Don’t complain about what you don’t want, because you will draw more of that into your life.
The choice is yours. Hate or curse what you see and you will live in a world of pain, sorrow and negativity… But give thanks and you will find more to be thankful about. You must keep your mind on HOPE and not Fear.
“The secret of happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles.”
-William Penn
Here are some ways you can write what you are grateful for. You can easily do one of these suggestions every night before bed.
Use your creative mind to do your own version.
The main thing is to DO IT!
To Your Greatness,
Linda aka Nana Lin
There is one essential strategy you need to get through divorce. Whether currently divorced, considering divorce, or in the midst of a divorce, there is a growing concern: CHANGE. You know you want to make big changes in your life. Maybe you have no idea what exactly those changes will be just yet, but you know you want life to feel different from what it currently feels like. Questions mount: “Will I be able to handle all of my own bills” “What kind of support will I have from family and friends?” “What if things just get messy and I have no idea where to turn?” “Can I really do this all alone?”
First, let me say from experience, stop. Take a breath. It will all be okay. Now, keep reading.
There are some simple but powerful steps that you can do now to begin to gain some perspective, some confidence, and to deal with these challenges.
Now that you know what is possible and what you want you may encounter some challenges along the path. It’s okay! Just keep moving forward.
Ready for a change? I work with clients just like you who are looking for big change and have either encountered obstacles along the way, or who struggle to figure out what the next ‘big thing’ is for them. Contact me today for a consultation to see if the DreamBuilder program might be for you.
